Angelic Rampage
by Noir's Chant
Summary: An angel set on purging this world of all its sin via murder. A undead man searching for a purpose. Together they might just have a chance of achieving their own selfish goals in the end. H/K, slight Ita/Kis and Dei/Sas later.
1. Prologue: An Angel and a Corpse

**Disclaimer: **I'm just a slightly bored person with too many weird thoughts. No, no I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the plot.

**Full Summary: **Set in a world similar to our own, this is a story about Hidan and Kakuzu's trials of life and death. Hidan claims to be an angel set on purging this world of its sins via murdering all who gets in his way. Kakuzu is a living corpse trying to deal with a world that despises him. As their time on Earth progresses, Kakuzu can't help but notice the strange folk who seem to be drawn to Hidan, such as the wanted criminal, the serial bomber, the ningyo, and the necromancer. On their tails is a group of detectives who may end up saving all their souls in the end. Hidan/Kakuzu, and mild Itachi/Kisame, Sasori/Deidara.

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**Prologue: **An Angel and a Corpse

The clouds had begun to stir up a storm as the sun went down, and a lone figure could be seen walking past the ancient gloomy cemetery on the outskirts of Konoha City. The man was dressed in a long coat against the rain with a mask covering most of his face. His piercing green eyes glanced at the tombstones and grave markers with bitterness and anger. Kakuzu hated having to walk by the place everyday after work. He could imagine the darkness pulling at him from every side when he saw the old stones, the earth completely and utterly blocking his way out to the world above. The feeling made him uneasy, and uneasiness was as foreign an emotion inside of him as fear.

Today though as he kept his eyes focused inside the dismal little yard, he noticed something odd on the far side, a shodow blocking the view of the woods beyond. Blinking to make sure it wasn't droplets of the freshly sprinkling rain he was seeing, he stopped short in his tracks. He glanced around him to make sure no one was around and hopped the short fence to step inside the cemetery boundry. An icy chill filled him and he wondered what exactly he was doing before heading over to the opposite side to investigate.

Standing in front of a statue of what used to be an angel he frowned. The statue was completely worn down by years of weather, leaving just the basic shape for identification. In it's hands was a metal rod, all that was left of an old flag pole marking a soldiers grave. Some vandle had bent the tip fiercely so it was more like a javelin thrust up into the air dangerously now, making the scene look even more frightening in the dark and rain. Slid down onto the pipe was the worst of it though. Blood coated the dark stone and metal as the body of a man, pierced right through the stomach with limbs spread out in death, lay for all the world to see.

The sight was horrific and Kakuzu turned to get away from it. Hopefully the police would find it in the morning and he wouldn't have to think about it anymore, or how the sight caused the chill in his body to grow worse. Just as he passed a large overgrown grave of a young girl who died of the plague, he heard a strange grunting sound from behind. He turned his head to look at the body, eyes widening when he saw the twitch of a blood soaked finger. The man wasn't quite dead yet, still clinging on to life hopelessly. Kakuzu shook his head in disgust and turned to walk way again not wanting anything to do with it.

"Fuck...hey asshole, why don't you get me off this fucking thing?"

He froze and spun around slowly to find a shocking pair of violet eyes glaring in his direction. That was certainly unexpected. The man should be close to death, yet not a hint of fear or pain shone within those eyes, only anger and a touch of discomfort. He took a step closer and tilted his head frowning once more as he examined the pole stuck up through the man's abdomen. This was no magicians trick he realized. He was truly impaled.

"What are you?" Kakuzu asked in his dark voice, scanning the impaled body for any traces of mystical origins. He didn't find any, and he hadn't expected to. The only significant feature was a necklace with a silver pendant, a circle with an upside triangle inside of it, resting on the man's chest. The symbol was meaningless to the masked man and he averted his gaze back up to the purple eyes watching him.

The man rolled his eyes impatiently. "Oh great, I get the stupid one. Will you just pull me the fuck off?! This is really uncomfortable and its fucking raining!" He reached up to grab at the metal struggling to pull himself up. The rain and his blood made it too slippery though, and he slid down another few inches instead. "Shit!"

With a sigh Kakuzu walked over and leapt up onto the edge of a crumbling wall situated behind the statue. "I know I'm going to regret this," He mumbled to himself before reaching out and grasping the man's back in two places for support and pulled him up and off with a sick 'plunck' like sound. Blood splattered the rest of the statue and Kakuzu cringed as some stained his jacket as well.

"Ah thanks! This is so much better!" The man got to his feet and stretched, showing off smooth red-stained skin and a slim, well-built frame. "I've been stuck in that shitty position for hours. I never thought anyone would get me off of it." He swept a hand through his dingy white hair and matted it back on the top of his head before turning to smirk at Kakuzu. "Oi, what's your name corpse?"

Kakuzu felt his eye twitch. "You're the corpse here. No one should be able to live through that and get away with a sarcastic sense of humor." Inside he was trying to figure out how the man _knew_. He had to fight the urge to make sure his mask was still in place. It was, so how...?

The man ignored him and examined the gaping hole in his chest. It was only about two inches wide, but bits of internal organs and blood were peeking out making it look very gruesome. "Fuck, that hurt! This'll take two days at least to heal, and I don't have that much time!" He scowled and pressed a finger into it pushing the slimy bits back inside before reaching into a pocket on the faded black pants he wore and pulled out a needle and some cheap black thread.

Kakuzu watched in shock as he sewed himself back up. "Jiang-shi?" He questioned mostly to himself, his mind buzzing. If he was a reanimated corpse this sitiation would be a lot easier to explain. He doubted it though. People with the ability to reanimate the dead were few and far between and expected to be extinct all together. No, this young man was something else, something more powerful, he could feel it.

"No, angel," He bit the loose thread off and unceremoniously stuffed the rest of it back into his pocket. The quick stitches looked horrible and just provided a new release for blood to seep out only to be washed away as the rain came down even harder. Annoyed violet eyes looked up at the sky as if challenging it to continue its assault on his body. "Any idea idea where we can get the hell out of this rain?"

"Angel? I didn't think angels could cuss so much." Kakuzu said bypassing the question. The man's attitude was starting to get on his nerves. Never before had anyone had the audacitiy to speek to them in such a way, especially if they knew his greatest secret as this man had figured out. This person was either really cocky or really foolish.

"I didn't know corpses could be so bitchy," The newly identified angel growled still glaring at the dark clouds. "Jashin, its cold out here! Seriously asshole, let's get out of here. I'll answer all your stupid questions when I'm not soaking wet, okay?" He cast his eyes away from the sky and onto him, studying him Kakuzu realized. He tried not to show how much this unnerved him. "By the way, I'm Hidan."

"Kakuzu,"

Hidan smirked and they left the cemetery heading towards the warmer lights of the suburb beyond. "This should be an interesting trip Kakuzu. You better keep me entertained."

Kakuzu didn't reply, but he knew the man would be right. His life as he knew it had taken a dramatic change of direction, and where it would lead he couldn't tell, and personally he didn't want to know.

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**A/N: **Please review.


	2. A Detective

**Disclaimer: **Check back to the first chapter, it should be there.

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**Chapter One:** A Detective

A gentle breeze lifted the last few leaves off the branches of the mighty oak trees dotting the park, carrying them high into the air before landing them gently onto soft pink skin and wavy blonde hair. They were brushed away carefully as a camera snapped a picture of the scene. Dark eyes scanned the area with a tired sigh. A woman in her mid-twenties lay dead on the ground beside the rippling lake, her stomach slashed open laying her internal organs out for all the world to see. A partial footprint in the muddy ground beside her was the only clue to the killer behind it all.

"How troublesome," Shikamaru Nara sighed and looked up from where he had kneeled down in front of the body, noticing two men approaching him. He stood to great them, not bothering to dust the dried mud from his pants. The air around him was sticky and hot, and he wiped at his brow to catch the sweat drops trying to find their way into his calculating eyes.

"Shikamaru, what have we got?" One of the men asked in a deep voice, a cigarette dangling from his lips. Asuma Sarutobi was the head of Konoha City's police force, a dedicated worker with a great sense of justice. He hadn't let a case die yet, and always looked after his comrades as if they were family. He was Skikamaru's idol, a man truly worth living up to.

"Her name is Amie Saratoga, twenty-six years old. She was killed via blood loss from the wound to her stomach. The weapon used is still unknown, and the only lead we have is that," He pointed to the print. "Its just like the last two. We have a serial killer on our hands."

Asuma sighed and snuffed out the cigarette he'd been smoking underneath the heel of his shoe. "Just great. Well we better let the coroner have her and get back to the office." He looked at the body and cringed. Whoever had done this certainly didn't try to be merciful. The blade used had basically gutted her, causing quite a lot of pain before she died of internal trama and blood loss. Her mouth was open in a silent scream, her eyes still focused on the image of the man who killed her in eternal fear. Nobody deserved such a death.

Shikamaru nodded in response and followed them down a hill to the road below. He opened the door to a small blue car parked alongside the road and took a seat on the faded leather on the driver's side. He looked up at the clouds lofting away above and sighed. The clouds were free to mill about with each other, not a care in the world as they drifted to far off locations. If only his life could be the same, not filled with the pain of every new case.

The first big case he had ever worked on had been five years ago, a case he would never forget until the day he died. A man had been shot to death in his home, three shots to the head and five to the chest. A normal man living a seemingly normal life with a wife and two young children under the age of ten. All the clues said his wife had done the crime, yet she denied it, saying she loved her husband more than anything. Shikamaru went over the clues again, and again they pointed to the wife. Before they could arrest her though she killed herself, hanging from the balcony of her two story home. The letter said she couldn't take the sadness of her husband's death, and the pain that came from the accusations brought upon her.

Three days later they found the real murderer, a bored homeless man with a case of schizophrenia.

Shikamaru would never forgive himself for that. He had done what every cop before him had, gone straight to figuring out who had done it and never once thinking about what his results would do to those involved. They should have gotten the woman into therapy, given her new ways to survive. Instead he had forgotten she was human too, and all humans feel no matter how cold they may seem on the outside.

Sometimes he regretted becoming a detective. He saw more death and violence in the world in a week than many saw in their entire lives. Crooks, murderers, rapists, he saw their kind every day. Death was another part of his life. There were days he was so close to setting down his badge he could barely stand it. The world was filled with horrible people doing horrible things to themselves and each other and he forced himself to watch it all like a madman sticking needles into himself waiting for a different result each time. Nothing would change, and he knew it, and it made him want to curl up under his safe blankets at home and forget about the world around him forever.

He caught a glimpse of the mutilated woman being lifted into the coroner's van and all rational thought came back to him. That was why he still held his job. He was fighting for those who no longer had a voice, no matter how troublesome the work became. When a killer was locked away behind bars forever he felt a deep sense of peace inside of him. While crimes continued, he would always be there to set things right for the innocent. No longer would he forget that everyone had feelings, and now he took every little clue to heart searching for the real culprit behind every crime.

Some called him sloppy, saying he should act quicker and arrest those involved right away, but he wouldn't. He turned back around to face those people after in every case he caught the real murderer, kidnapper, and thieves. That was his role in this life, and he would keep doing it until either he could no longer stand properly or was dead.

As the car set off towards the station across town, Shikamaru set his frame of thought back on the case of the present. This was the third suspicious death in the park in two months. The first was a young man found hacked apart near the lake. Tragically a child had been the one to find the body, left lying against a tree in plain sight. No amount of therepy would ever be able to lodge that image out of anyone's mind. Shikamaru knew at that time more bodies would be found in the future. That body had been set there on purpose, a display for the cops telling them this killer was not to be trifled with, a warning.

Sure enough a second body had been found two weeks later, a small time boxer who had made a name for himself in local papers by helping earn money for his dying daughter's medical bills. The man had been discovered against a tree deeper into the park where people rarely traversed. Shikamaru found this odd, the previous body leading him to believe this killer wanted publicity, the fame associated with his crimes. Now he knew otherwise. Whoever was doing this had a reason beyond recognition. This was truly the work of a mad man.

This was not going to a easy case, and Shikamaru did not look forward to the long nights of investigating. Whoever was doing this had better watch out though, because Shikamaru knew he was going to catch them, and when he did not even a plea for insanity would save them from all the havoc and pain they had caused this city. He would make certain on that.

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Crouching down low, Hidan watched the men take the body away with a branch of the tree cut into his thigh causing sharp pain, but he ignored it and continued to peer through the thick leaves. They finally got it and he couldn't be more pleased. Once the authorities were out of sight, he hoped to the ground and headed out of the now gloomy park. He knew coming back to the scene was cliched and dangerous, but he had to see if someone finally understood he wasn't going to stop just yet. No, he was far from stopping. This town would feel his wrath to its fullest.

He rounded the corner and stuffed his hands into the pockets of the faded out jeans he'd thrown on that morning. Several faceless people jostled past him on the busy city streets. Vivid purple eyes saw them, yet didn't see them. He saw individuals with perfect smiles and deep, dangerous secrets, picky little children and the hatred they would face in the future. All of them were going to die, it was inevitable. Hidan was just speeding up the process a bit with a few of them.

A police car whizzed past him, lights flashing and siren echoing through the air like some haunting melody. Hidan smirked at it, knowing somewhere things weren't going according to the rules of society. _What is society really?_ He wondered. _Just another useless attempt at mankind in staying organized and in control. They'll never truly be in control though. Nature has a way of dealing deadly __blows to those in high places._

Hidan smiled sadistically to himself. Oh yes, he was going to hit them hard where it hurt the most, in their precious society, and he was going to enjoy it for all it was worth along the way...

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A/N: Please review, and I promise these chapters will get longer. Right now I'm just introducing the main elements of the story.


	3. A Business Man

**Disclaimer:** In the first chapter, go look.

**Chapter Two:** A Business Man

Konoha City was like every other big time city in the world. On the outside it appeared to be a bustling metropolis filled with ordinary shops and tall skyscrapers where the average man came and went on his daily life. Traveling deeper down though, the city wasn't as pleasant as it looked. Gangs fought each other violently in the alleys, homeless people dotted the streets, and the west district was all but left to rot with the criminals living there. The police had little influence in this dark under belly of the city.

In a world such as this there is no wonder that a man like Kakuzu Sutechi became what he had. Not being able to live freely in a world that feared him, he took to the life of crime easier than most did. He ran a small inn that catered to the tourists who came to see Konoha's picturesque mountain views and quaint shopping district. The inn made his a good bit of money and he ran it honestly, but at night when the occupants of the place were sound asleep in their beds, he left and went off to make some real money in the black market.

To him money was all that mattered in this world. Families could desert you, love could ruin you, and the law controlled you, but money was always there to give you a hand when you needed it. Kakuzu found that with enough he could get away with almost anything, like wearing a mask in public or skimping here and there on taxes. He lived his life as a miser, and never once thought twice about it.

That is until the puzzling creature known as Hidan entered his life.

"Money doen't follow you into the after life. The only thing that truly matters in this world is death. Its the only thing that is definite."

Kakuzu frowned as he scribbled a check for the water bill. The angel was always saying stuff like that, and it bothered him more than he would ever let on. As one of the living dead, he never really feared dying, but he did fear death. He could remember the icy cold, the blinding darkness, and the madness that accompanied it. He couldn't comprehend how Hidan took joy in such a thing.

Still, the angel was right. What was he living here for besides the wealth? One day the spell would break, and he'd be sent right back to the coldness he feared, and then what?

"Damn it," he swore slamming his fist down on to the table. He tuned out the depressing thoughts and stood up grabbing his coat. The sun was setting on the horizon and the clock on the wall informed him he should have left ten minutes ago. With a grumpy sigh he locked the inn's office up and headed for home.

The walk to the small one story house he called his own was a quick one in his mind, and it wasn't long before he was opening the front door and greeted with the sight of a blood soaked man relaxing on his couch. He glared at the sight and tossed his coat at the rack by the door, the top catching the hook perfectly and hanging there. Hidan didn't seem to realize he had an angry corpse in front of him and lifted a hand in greeting.

"What have I told you about lounging on my furniture like that?" Kakuzu hissed moving to stand in front of him.

Hidan huffed and crossed his arms in annoyance. His white hair was tinted pink from the crimson liquid splattered all over him, and he swept a hand through it as he looked up at the taller man. "Its just a couch, you'll live."

"That couch cost me three hundred dollars, and unless you have the money to pay for a new one, I suggest you get in the habit of showering when you return."

"Oh please, like it really matters. You're such a fucking neat freak, you know that?" Hidan smirked back. Kakuzu hated him for the amusement he found in taunting him, and he lifted the skinny angel up by the collar of his shirt and gave him the full force of his glare. Hidan simply continued to look at the same way, so he tossed him violently across the room.

"Oh yeah, 'cuz that so hurt. Jashin, you're so over dramatic." Hidan chuckled and wandered down the hall towards the bathroom. Kakuzu was about to follow him with the intention of plunging a knife in to his gut when he noticed the white piece of fabric laying in the spot Hidan had been sitting. That little bastard had been sitting on a towel the entire time, and yet he allowed Kakuzu to carry on at him.

The green-eyed man swiped at the damned cloth with his hand and went outside to cool off for a bit. Living with a man who took enjoyment out of pain and torture was really starting to get to him. It seemed like all Hidan ever did was make him mad so he'd slice him open with a kitchen knife. To get his mind of the masochist he glanced at his watch. He sighed and went back in to get ready for his next 'job'.

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"Five thousand for the first one, three for the second and that's my final offer." Kakuzu told the greedy man in front of him. He tried not to cringe at the horrible smell his customer was giving off and continued to act as professional as possible. This deal would allow him to make a good bit of profit, and also get him a place in the circle of men under the head mob boss of the next city over. Networking was always a good idea in the black market, and Kakuzu took full advantage of it.

The foul-smelling man agreed to buy both the afore mentioned ''items', and Kakuzu counted out the money with a satisfied smile. There was nothing like the feeling of a job well done, even if the job was highly illegal. He stashed the bills in a safe box with the intent of moving them in to a bank the next day and went to get a cup of coffee.

As the brown drink trickled in to the pot, he noticed a man standing near the warehouse door. Kakuzu sighed and motioned the figure forward. The man stepped into the light revealing bizarre features such as a dual painted face and twin green leaves stretching up over it. This was Kakuzu's informant, Zetsu, a man he never really liked but knew was essential in his line of work. Whenever anyone was trying to discover his secrets, or if a new dealer came along making a name for himself, Zetsu was there to tell him right away. Kakuzu never asked how he got the information, and Zetsu never asked what kind of deals were being doen in the warehouse. It was a good relationship all the way around.

"I hope you brought me good news this time." Kakuzu said with a frown.

"We did!" Zetsu said in a dual-toned voice and reached in the pockets of the long jacket he was wearing to pull out a few papers. "**Carbana is stealing from your vaults again, **and there is suspicion that the serial killer in town is working under him."

Kakuzu chuckled at the mention of the serial killer as he looked the documents over. Of course the pesky crook would be spreading rumors of having a pro assassin working under him, it was good for business. He'd have to tell Hidan so the angel could laugh about it and hopefully put Carbana in his place for stealing from him. That was a murder he could get some enjoyment out of.

He paid Zetsu for the information and turned to pour himself a glass of the hot bitter coffee. As he sipped it he clicked on the small television he had nearby. The news was on, and apparently Hidan had struck again, this time not in the park like the last three, but in an alley way near city hall. The press were having a field day with all sorts of theories on who it was and what they were trying to do. Kakuzu was about to change it when they cut to an interview with the man in charge of the investigation, a young guy named Shikamaru Nara.

Kakuzu set the mug down sharply and turned the volume up to hear what the man was saying. He spoke about how they weren't going to let the criminal get away with his crimes, and how the police were doing everything in their power to stop those responsible. Kakuzu growled and cut it off. He grabbed his coat and headed home in a bad mood.

When he entered the little house he saw Hidan, clean for once, on the floor praying, his rosary in hand. Kakuzu allowed himself a minute to wonder how ridiculous the angel looked before clicking the lights on and heading for his bedroom to get in a couple of hours sleep before he had to be at work the next day. Hidan whined loudly about he was nothing but a lowly heathen who wasn't worthy enough to lick his shoes, or something like that, but the older man ignored him in favor of a quick shower and cool sheets.

If Nara was behind the investigation then that blasted Sarutobi Asuma was as well. Kakuzu just hoped that Hidan hid his evidence well. He did not want to go back to hiding again...

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The next morning the news had forgotten about the latest in the killing spree and instead focused on another mass murder, this time one close to home. An entire family had been murdered in their sleep the night before by one of their own. The police warned that the man was highly dangerous and most likely armed, and showed them a piicture of a young man with a disinterested expression on his face.

Hidan smirked at the report and sighed blissfully. Now that was what he truly loved, a man with no morals other than his own. He popped a chip into his mouth and glanced over at his room mate and smirked wider. While Kakuzu was a greedy heathen,l he too lived by his own morals and Hidan respected him for it. He wasn't bogged down by socities rules and lived his own life. There wasn't much Hidan could say he didn't like about the man because of that.

Plus he was damn right fun to piss off.

Hidan stood to fetch his scythe in the hopes of tearing a hole in Kakuzu's 'precious' couch. Yes, he found enjoyment in killing people, but angering a man who couldn't be killed was sometimes more fun than any death could possible be.

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**A/N: **I made up Kakuzu's last name. It means 'stitch'. Now go review so I'll have something to cheer me up with. Its storming over here and I'm home alone...I hate lightening...


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